Wednesday, November 24, 2010

A week from you know where

This past week has been one thing after another. Starting with exactly a week ago when I underwent my D&C, then on Friday Tristan had his choking scare. From there it went to Sunday morning when we woke up to our basement flooded with raw sewage. Then on Monday morning Phil woke with a horrible stomach flu that would put him flat in bed for 3 days, that was followed closely by my trip to the ER Monday night because of complications from my D&C. Then on Tuesday Joslynn started running a fever which is ecspecially not good because she goes in for her ear surgery on Monday. And finally we end exactly 1 week later with my second surgery when they found a huge blood clot that took up my entire uterus, followed by another round of that HORRIBLE drug that makes my uterus contract putting me in extreme pain for 3 days. But through this all I have to say that I am so thankful for wonderful Dr's and nurses and the wonderful medical technology that they have now, but most of all I am thankful for mine and Phils WONDERFUL AMAZING family that have stepped up and taken care of our kids through all of this. Heres hoping that this neverending nightmare ends soon.

Monday, November 22, 2010

A close call

Friday night I layed on the couch still recovering from my surgery. Tristan was happy scooting on the floor. I had just vacuumed so I wouldnt have to worry about him eating things off the floor. He scooted over to me by the couch and the next thing I knew he had his head tipped sideways and his chest was heaving. He wasnt making any noise but I knew right away he was choking. I jumped up and grabbed him so fast I gave him a carpet burn on the side of his face but he didn't cry out in pain. I stuck my finger in his mouth trying to feel whatever it was and sweep it out but there was nothing. By this time he was turning blue and I began to panick, but suddenly something else took over. I have not been trained in the hymlic since before I had Abby. (6 years ago) but I just started doing it. I flipped him on his tummy and started doing back compressions and then flipped him back to do front thrusts. I had no clue if I was doing it right but after 15-20 HORRIFYING second of doing it Tristan took a breath. I stuck my finger in his mouth frantickly and out came a penny. I took a breath I didn't know I was holding but my relief didn't last long because now Tristan was screaming. He was screaming like I had never heard him scream before and I was so worried I had done something wrong. I called 911 and moments later paramedics arrived. They checked Tristan out and suggested they take him by ambulance to primary childrens. They worried I had broke some ribs and were afraid if the break was bad enough that it would puncture his lung. So off we went. For the first 5 min they drove with the lights off and Tristan began to be his normal self pulling off his oxygen and trying to eat it. But suddenly he became very lathargic and went to sleep. They were unable to arrouse him. So on the lights went and the atmosphere changed from relaxed and joking to panicked. As we arrived at the hospital Tristans eyes flew open. I once again breathed a sigh of relief. The rest was very calm. After xrays it was determined that Tristan only had bruised ribs and was completely fine and just flat out pooped from the whole ordeal. We left hours later snuggleing our baby boy. I can not even put into words how grateful I am that my baby boy is still alive. The paremedics said that 9 times out of 10 they arrive to a very different scene on these kind of calls. They made it clear that had I not acted so quickly Tristan would have been gone in a matter of minutes. I am just SO thankful that whatever training I was able to recall suddenly popped into my head right at the right moment. There is no doubt in my mind that the holy ghost was guiding me and there is no doubt in my mind that without that guidance my baby boy would not be here today.

The stuffed animal the hospital gave Tristan

The penny that almost took my babys life.

8 months!

Weighs 16lbs 4oz fully clothed
Is 27 3/4 inches long
AND CAN.....







Thursday, November 18, 2010

A hard few weeks

I don't know what is making me post about this, I had decided a bit ago that I wanted as few as possible to know but for some reason I feel like I need to get this out. The beginning of September we found out that I was pregnant again. We of course were SHOCKED and scrambled to try and get our head around it. I struggled at first because we had just decided we were done having kids and I was excited to get my body back, but after a few days I found my knees and prayed. As I prayed I felt peace. A peace I have never felt before. And as I prayed a story played out in my head.

A Happy Little Family
Once upon a time there was a happy little family. There was a mommy, a daddy, a little girl named Abby, a little girl named Joslynn, and a baby boy named Tristan. The mommy and daddy of this family felt that their happy little family was complete. But they didn’t know that up in heaven a little spirit waited to join their happy family. As this spirit waited patiently the mommy and daddy decided that they didn’t want to have anymore kids. The little spirit was devastated. “What do we do?” She asked heavenly father. Heavenly father picked her up and hugged her. “I’m afraid there is only one thing we can do, we need to send you down to join the happy little family.” he said sitting her on his knee. “But they aren’t ready yet, Brother just barely went down” she said with tears in her eyes. “I’m afraid my little one that if we wait any longer it will be too late.” He said wiping her tears. So with that he hugged her one more time and sent her right down to the happy little family knowing that if he waited a second more it would be too late for the little spirit. Heavenly father watched as the mommy and daddy of the happy little family learned that they would be having another little spirit joining their family, and when it seemed too much for the mommy of the happy little family he sent the holy ghost to comfort her and help her understand what happened in heaven and why the little spirit was coming so soon. And so this happy little family of 5 was soon to be a happy little family of 6 as they eagerly awaited the arrival of the little spirit so lovingly sent by heavenly father.

I felt like everything was going to be ok and after sharing it with Phil we began to get very excited about this little spirit. But our second ultrasound at 11 weeks showed that the baby had no heart beat and was measuring smaller than that. I was given my options. Having been through this several times before I knew that I wanted to wait and miscarry on my own. but weeks later nothing had happened and I began to run a high fever. My doctor told me I had an infection and I couldn't wait any longer. He put me on a prescription that would make my uterus contract to help me along. It was the most painful and longest 3 days of my life, but after only 4 hours of light bleeding I still hadn't miscarried. So I was scheduled for a D&C. This would be my third and I was dreading it. Yesterday was a long day at the hospital but its finally done and I can feel like I can try and move on. Before they put me under my doctor was talking to me, he is just such a great man and he expressed how sorry he was that we were having to do this yet again. He looked at my chart and told me that this was my 11th pregnancy and he hoped and prayed that my next one would have a very different result. Even though I have been through this 8 times now I can't complain because out of those 11 pregnancies I have gotten 3 beautiful amazing kids and I count myself very lucky and blessed. This experience has been very hard and I have not quite come to understand everything yet but I feel strongly that when we are ready there is another little spirit waiting up there to join our happy little family and I can't wait to meet them.

One proud momma!

A few weeks ago I got to go to Abbys parent teacher conference. I had high hopes going in, Abby is a great kid and so smart. But the praise her teacher gave her had me beaming in my seat. I am so proud of this little girl! She is so sweet and dedicated and she has such a soft heart. To celebrate she wanted to go to Applebees with grandma and grandpa so we set a lunch date! I think she had alot of fun. Abby loves school and I can not wait to go to her next one and hear all the great things about her!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Halloween fun

Halloween was a blast. The girls were with their dad this year but we got to go see their costumes. They were so cute! Joslynn was a witch and Abby was Alex Russo off Wizards of Waverly place. Tristan was Superman and I was supergirl and Phil was bat man.

We won these capes on our trip and couldn't resist a picture!

We have a daddys boy on our hands.

Everyday around 10:30 Tristan gets a little fussy. He is usually ALWAYS a happy boy but for some reason around this time he is not his usual happy hyper self. It seemed odd to me since he doesn't nap till about 1 so he isnt tired, he is fed and changed so thats not it, but I just c0uldn't put my finger on it so I decided to start paying attention to things. Phil usually gets home from work around 11:20, except Tuesdays when he has a meeting till noon. Well Usually as soon as Phil gets home Tristan is happy and excited and comes right out of his funk. So Tuesday rolled around and I watched the clock. I watched as 11:30 rolled around when he usually perks up, but he didn't. He whinned and fussed until Phil walked in the door around 12:20. And that is when it clicked. We have Tristan on a pretty good schedule, so he knows things and he can feel when it is time for his daddy to get home. One of the things that Phil and I discussed when we decided to have Tristan was my concerns. I was afraid that Tristan would become Phils #1. That when Phil walked in the door from work he would stop running to greet me and I would be replaced by this sweet little boy. I made sure that Phil knew just how much this worried me and he promised he would do his best not to let that happen. So now when Phil gets home he comes to me, he hugs me asks about my day kisses me and then turns to our little boy. Well on this particular day I watched as he did this, I watched Tristans excitment, his kicking legs and flying arms, his smile and squeels of joy as he impatiently awaited his daddys attention. And I watched as Phil picked him up and all Tristans excitment went away and turned into something else...I watched Tristan grab his daddys face and lean his forehead in and I realised that this was his way of hugging his daddy. I thought about all the other days, and realised he acted this way everytime his daddy came home. His excitment to see his daddy turned into a gesture of pure love and it almost brought tears to my eyes.